Weymouth's day of rock to celebrate Diamond Jubilee (From Thisisdorset)

Weymouth's day of rock to celebrate Diamond Jubilee

10:17am Friday 1st June 2012 in Leisure By Nick Horton

DAWN breaks over The Mall in central London. A familiar face peeps through a heavily curtained window at Buckingham Palace, looking out over a hive of frantic activity down below.

“Philip, Philip, come quickly! The workmen, they’re building a stage over Queen Victoria’s fountain!”

“Dash it all, woman. It’s that infernal concert for your diamond anniversary, you silly old coot!

“Oh good Lord, Philip. Must they? And please don’t tell me that Gary Barlow and Ed Sheeran are performing. Oh, and not Sir Elton too. Surely one ageing queen is enough?

“They must know how one likes one’s rock music after 60 years of sovereignty: No messin’, bangin’, heads down, hard and dirty. You know, like those popular beat combos Freak Circus, Shooter and that Vanilla Radio?”

“Oh really, Liz? Maybe we should give the Mall concert a miss and head for the Quayside Music Festival instead.”

“Wear the fox hat?”

“I think it might be a little warm for that, dear.

“Oh I see. It’s in Weymouth, by the newly-refurbished Town Bridge, right outside the Rendezvous nightclub.

“Starts on Sunday, June 3, from 5pm and goes on through Monday and Tuesday.

“First time they’ve done a three-dayer apparently, and it’s all to celebrate one’s 60 years on the throne and the extra bank holiday for those working classes.”

“Oh sooper, Philip. So, who’s on the bill?”

“Well, first up are The Loosehounds, then at 6pm there’s Stress, then it’s Slamming The Doors at 7pm, who are a brilliant Doors tribute band apparently, 8pm it’s those Shooter boys and at 9pm there’s Danny and the Goosemen.”

“I understand the aforementioned Danny is the main organiser behind this fabulous event.

“Perhaps one should pencil him in for a knighthood.

“What does one think, Philip?”

“Well, the boy’s done frightfully well. I mean, look at the line-up for Monday.

“They’ve got Good Dancers at noon, Thomas and his Mock-Ups at 1pm, 8 Days Later at 2pm, Mystery Clock at 3pm, Vanilla Radio at 4pm, The Darlingtons at 5pm, rock gods Four-Wheel Drive at 6pm, Off-Beat Offensive at 7pm, the Surfing Birds all the way from 1959 at 8pm and they’re wrapping it up at 9pm with Capelle.”

“Capelle? Is that the band with overdriven electro rock ’60s style guitars peppered with hip-hop beats and filthy electronic tinges? Have they come far?”

“London, your Madgeness.”

“Goodness gracious! Point the Royal train for Weymouth as you tell me about Tuesday’s line-up, Philip.”

“Good grief, Lizzie. Look at this lot: They’ve got Baker from midday, Jamie Pinnow at 1pm, Laura and George at 2pm, Rocksteady at 3pm, Amy Brown at 4pm, The Shakespearos at 5pm, A Boy Named Ceri at 6pm, Little Leagues at 7pm, Billy Hutchinson at 8pm and rounding the whole thing off with Freak Circus at 9pm. Incredible.”

“Freak Circus? The tight band with even tighter trousers? They’re one of my favourites.”

“Come on then Queenie, let’s head for the coast.

“We can also go to The Right Royal Ruckus at the Lazy Lizard on the seafront.

“That starts at 3pm on Sunday, June 3 with Tom Caulfield, Mad Hatters, Surfing Birds, Mr Bucket, Cheap Shots and Amy Mayes playing through the night over two floors with many more acts and DJs too”

“Gosh, Philip. I do like Amy Mayes, she’s jolly good!”

“There’s so much going, you know. There’s also the Wessex Folk Festival at various venues around Weymouth harbour and up the road there’s the Dorchester Festival too.”

“Yes, I know, Philip. But what I’m really looking forward to is the one-off gig by the reformed Bad Reputation at Finn’s in Weymouth on Monday, June 4. They do lots of songs by Thin Lizzy. Phil Lynott named the band after me, you know.”

“I hope they let us in, dearest. There was that incident when Pippa Middleton dropped her kebab in the mosh pit last time. Got a bit messy…”

Whatever you’re doing this bank holiday weekend, stay safe and have a great time.

That’s it for this week. I’m off to the tower, probably.