Prepare For Take-Off

7:00pm Monday 4th February 2008

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JUST when you thought it was safe to take to the skies again, a German travel company has unveiled the first ever naked airline.

From July 5, passengers flying with tour operator OssiUrlaub can shed their clothing, along with their inhibitions, en-route to a naturist beach in the Balkans.

When they got wind of the scheme, nudists from around the world jammed the internet site for a coveted place on the maiden voyage.

All practical issues have been thought through. Naked passengers will sit on a special cloth for hygiene reasons (and to prevent them sticking to the leather seats) on the 50-seater Saab 2000.

Hot drinks will NOT be served, and male passengers are advised to use caution when fastening their seat belts.

It is unsure whether or not trays will be the upright position upon take-off and landing.

But in order to conform to IATA regulations, the pilot and crew will fly in their usual uniform.

As it is illegal to embark or disembark without clothes, the public's blushes will be spared in the airport terminals.

Are these tenacious travellers to be applauded for asserting their rights to freedom. Are they perverted? Or just plain bonkers?

According to the Naturist UK Factfile, there are at least 15 million people in this country who are naturists to at least some extent and of those about 1.2 million describe themselves as being a naturist, that is, "living a lifestyle in harmony with nature, expressed through social nudity."

An NOP poll commissioned by British Naturism revealed that around 12 million people think nothing of going starkers in their garden, and one person in five has seen a neighbour nude. For half the population, this sight wouldn't prevent them from buying a house. They would simply turn the other cheek Here in Dorset, Studland is home to the UK's most popular naturist beach which has official approval from owners the National Trust. The naturist part of the long sandy beach is about one kilometre long, and is well signposted.

Someone who uses this beach on a regular basis is 66 year old David Haith, who lives in Bournemouth.

His definition of a naturist is someone who, in certain circumstances, feels that clothes are just not necessary.

David first thought about naturism after struggling with a towel on the beach while changing into swimming trunks.

"I thought: This is stupid. We all know what males and females look like, so why am I striving to cover myself up?

"I'm sure that some non-naturists would like to swim without their clothes sometimes. From a practical point of view, who wants to be sitting around afterwards in a soggy costume?"

He believes the problem is that social etiquette dictates we aren't supposed to look at other people in the nude - apart from our partners in the confines of the home.

"But nudity should not be automatically connected with sexuality," he said.

David, who has been on a couple of nudist holidays, believes that shedding your kit is not only a good leveller ("you can no longer hide behind your pinstripe suit"), but is symbolic of casting off life's clutter.

"It's very relaxing, but I admit that, with any movement, people can get somewhat over-enthusiastic.

"I went to a naturist dinner party once, which was exactly the same as a normal one, minus the clothes.

"It was ironic because the table was beautifully dressed.

"I sat next to a voluptuous lady who secured her napkin by lifting her bosoms and tucking it underneath.

"Sometimes you do ask yourself why. What is the point of wearing nothing when to be clothed would be so much more comfortable?"

So would David take a flight in the all-together with OssiUrlaub?

"No, I wouldn't," he said. "That's a bit whacky. I wish them well but it smacks of a publicity gimmick to me.

"I bet it would be really draughty.

"And where on EARTH would you put your passport?"

• The headline for this story came from Woody from 2CR-FM in the Headline Game on the Breakfast Show with Paul Bunker and Caroline Verdon. Play the Headline Game Monday-Friday at 8.40am.